MockMom

A Preschool’s Fall Newsletter

 Every Preschool's Fall Newsletter

By Kelly Riibe

Dear Preschool Parent:

Fall is upon us, and with it comes leaf sketch art and the need to constantly remind your children to zip up their coats and not put heads or feet through the arm holes. We are excited to be entering a more established classroom routine (or as the librarians like to say, “Only 31 weeks and 2 days left until summer vacation”).

This time of year has us getting more familiar with your child and their habits. Therefore, we sometimes see the need to send home a few email reminders. You know, “just in case” a certain mom or dad (or both) keep forgetting everything we ask of them in their role as parental guardians.

Daily Class Report

Please remember to check your child’s daily folder for our class report. It is sent home every single day in their backpacks. The daily report has a lot of good information; for example, what if the same brown haired, freckled boy with an Under Armour orange striped backpack never brings a daily snack and therefore depletes the teacher’s private stash? Or say, one child bit the shirt tag off of another classmate’s dress? These are things you as a parent should want to know…so yes, please read it.

Email Reminders

We understand to some parents that this non-stop, twice a day email reminder regarding the above mentioned daily reports is annoying. It irritates us as teachers to have to include an email reminder section within an actual email. However, a few students have already accumulated enough unread daily report papers to start their own recycling center. Arbor Day is not until April, but did you know that 2000 pounds of paper can save 17 trees? Well, we know now!

Weather

As stated earlier by us and also the celestial calendar, fall has arrived. This season has a weather pattern that experiences more hot flashes and cold sweats than the school secretaries who are going through their second year of menopause. Please remember to send jackets with your kids. The best way to remember is to actually put one on your child in the morning. Typically during the time when they are hopping from foot to foot to stay warm and can see their breath in the frigid fall air.

Germs

No teacher, anywhere on the planet, makes enough money to wipe “green noses.” Please teach your children how to blow raging snot into a Kleenex, and keep them home if they are sick. As parents you should already know what sick means, so we are going to just leave it at that. Although, feel free to send an email reply if you are needing more information as to what constitutes sick (we have accumulated quite a photo collection of trash can disasters and bathroom catastrophes over the years on our classroom’s tablet).

Time Change

“Fall back” will be happening before we know it, so it is a good idea to start mentally preparing for what we preschool teachers call “the week of darkness.” Obviously the days getting shorter means we must wake up before the sunrise and go to sleep long after it has set. Daylight savings is a cruel joke on parents and teachers. It is the one dilemma where we can all stand united. So if everyone could just start prepping their kiddos and spouses to be extra-extra good that week, it would be much appreciated. En lieu of good behavior, any pumpkin spice beverage may be offered as a preemptive mea culpa for when a parent knows the teachers are in for a long day. Hand-offs of lattes, cappuccinos, coffees, and brown-bagged pumpkin spice martinis may take place at the carpool drop-off lane.

Halloween

The class Halloween party will be scheduled for the last Friday in October. Children will be allowed to wear costumes (in what was a very narrow and highly contested 5-4 school board voting scandal) and bring trick-or-treat baskets. No violent or gory costumes are allowed on school property. We would hope we could stop there on this subject, but as years past have taught us, a list must also be included. The following are NOT acceptable for the preschool Halloween party: Jason masks, fake blood, real blood, guns, swords, Justin Bieber costumes, zombie apocalypse creatures, anything from Game of Thrones, clowns, daggers, mean vampires (nice vamps are okay), machetes, rifles, handcuffs, etc. We as teachers are going out on a limb with that “etc.” so please use good judgment, or just some judgment, because any little bit of common sense is appreciated when it comes to helping your son or daughter pick a costume.

In closing, “Happy Fall, Y’all!” And remember, just because it is autumn doesn’t mean we mustn’t still be good listeners and good roles models. It does not matter that ladies may now stop shaving their legs or men can feel obligated to wear non-stop camouflage for the next two seasons; parents and educators need to continue to work together despite the distracting beauty that is the changing of the leaves.

*If you are a mom or dad who is reading this newsletter and confused by it all, chances are we sent it to you by mistake OR you have only just recently supplied your email address to us after numerous harassing interactions during pick-up and drop-off.

Sincerely,
Your Child’s Best Chance (for Kindergarten and life in general)

*****

About the Author

Kelly J. Riibe has three kiddos, a husband, an adorable Jack Russell Terrier, and a mildly curbed addiction to Diet Coke. Keeping busy for her involves staying home with her children and also finding work as a freelance writer. She has been published in Nebraska Magazine, Heels on a Farm, The Manifest-Station, BonBon Break, Living Here Magazine, MockMom, and Sammiches and Psych Meds. Kelly is also the co-writer for the blog www.familyfootnote.com. Follow her on Twitter at @familyfootnote and @KJRiibe.