The world has gone crazy and apparently humanity has gone with it. For the past couple of years, pimple-popping videos have been “popping” up all over social media, and it would seem that there are people out there who enjoy this sort of thing. A lot of people. Crazy people. Because you guys, ewwww.
Upland, California dermatologist Sandra Lee (aka: Dr. Pimple Popper) has elevated zit-zapping from a bad adolescent habit to a wildly successful spectator sport complete with her very own squeeze squad. Millions have been both traumatized and satisfied watching her squeeze out copious amounts of pus and blood. She has nearly 4 million subscribers to her YouTube channel, 2.8 million followers on Instagram and a new TLC television show airing on Wednesday nights called, you guessed it, Dr. Pimple Popper.
Popaholics are out there.
And now Dr. Lee has partnered with Canadian toy company Spin Master so that you, too, can fulfill your ultimate zit-zapping fantasy in the comfort of your own home, with family and friends.
Meet Pimple Pete.
The pus-shooting board game features acne-prone Pete, and it’s up to you to pull the pus out of his pustules. With your fingers. In long gooey strands. Pardon me while I gag.
Oh, and that’s not all. You have to do it without rocking the head too far forward or backward or the mega-zit on his nose will explode. All over you. Niiice. While it’s only water and not real pus shooting through the air, I still question who really thinks this game is a good idea. For starters, according to dermatologist Michelle Rodrigues (and every person out there), popping pimples is bad.
A pimple is like a little bag under the skin that contains oil, bacteria, and inflammation. Squeezing it can result in these contents being pushed into surrounding skin, making the problem worse. It can also lead to infection and temporary darkening of the skin in that area. On top of this, the inflammation can become so bad that scarring is left behind when the pimple finally settles down. And scarring (unlike the pimple) can be permanent.
Secondly, did I mention ewwww?
What has happened to the good ol’ games? Classics like Monopoly, The Game of Life, Clue, Sorry, Scrabble? Games that actually, oh, I don’t know, make you use your brain instead of just doing disgusting things like popping pimples and scooping poop. Yes. Poop. “Doggie Doo,” “Pull My Finger,” “Gas Out,” “Don’t Step In It!” – I kid you not, these games are REAL.
But Pimple Pete isn’t the first product on the market to help you resist that burning urge to pop those zits on cousin Jebediah’s back and risk becoming known as the “pimple popper psycho” of the family.
I can’t even right now. This both fascinates me and disgusts me in equal measure.
Dying to get your fingers on Pimple Pete? According to Cosmopolitan, the game will be available August 1 on Amazon and will pop into Walmart on August 15 and Target on October 1. The cost? $19.99. A small price to pay for your pimple-popping pleasure.