Parenting

7 Ways to Survive a Road Trip With Kids

By Kelly J. Riibe

1-Throw out every single rule you have regarding screen time. Watching movies from the back seat kicks the license plate game’s ass every single time. Download and buy the latest flicks, or borrow some timeless films from your neighbor. You can never have too many cartoons on a road trip, especially during the moments when you unknowingly get stuck in rush-hour traffic or hit a roadblock of construction.

2-Snacks. Avoid chocolate and caramel, as they can melt quickly, make kids hyper, and are oh so sticky. However, fruit snacks, crackers, raisins, chips, and gummy worms were meant for the open road. If you must pack drinks, stick to those convenient, small pouches of juice or flavored water. They are a hit with the kiddos and hold less than ten ounces of liquid. Therefore, your toddler won’t be yelling for a potty break immediately after slurping down a pomegranate punch.

3-Know Your Stops. Do not get cocky and opt to wait for just one more exit when picking a place to eat. It never fails to be the last stop for the next forty-one miles. If the kids are howling for grub and you see golden arches and sandwich signs at an off-ramp, pull over immediately. Otherwise you may get stuck eating stale cookies from a public restroom’s vending machine as your lunch and dinner combo meal.

4-Listen to the GPS. That sweet, soothing, automated voice always knows the best route. ALWAYS! Therefore, no matter how certain your spouse is about a short cut, give ‘em the bird and be sure the driver is always following directions from a phone app and a phone app only.

5-Headphones. Protect your ear drums and your sanity by packing enough headphones for every single passenger. You will be congratulating yourself for the forward thinking, especially after your preschooler declares she has listened to two songs over a dozen times and can now confidently proclaim that Elsa’s version of “Frozen” is still far superior to Gazelle singing on “Zootopia.”

6-Blankets and Pillows. Vehicle comfort is hard to achieve, but little ones can be fooled into thinking a car ride is a bed fort if you have their staple pillow and blankie on hand. Plus the cell phone pictures that can be captured and blasted on Facebook of your kiddo snoozing in the SUV will get way more likes than the Instagrams of them screaming in displeasure because the window and seat belt offer no head support or cushioning.

7-If This Van’s Napping, Don’t Bother Crapping. If you are on the interstate or scenic byway and all the little ones are dozing contently in their car seats, DO NOT STOP the vehicle for any reason. If you survived child birth, you can survive holding your bladder (and your bowels) for an hour. If you really, really have to go #1, you should be able to strategically pee from the front seat into the fountain cup mug that got you into this whole mess. Happy aiming!

May the travel force be with you and your family! Nothing shows devotion more than subjecting yourself to hours in a vehicle with your loved ones en route to the cheese capital of the world or the country’s largest popcorn ball.

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About the Author

Kelly J. Riibe has three kiddos, a husband, a Jack Russell Terrier, and a mildly curbed addiction to Diet Coke. Keeping busy for her involves staying home with her children and also finding work as a freelance writer. She has been published in Nebraska Magazine, Heels on a Farm, MockMom, and is the co-writer for the blog: www.familyfootnote.com. Follow her on Twitter: @familyfootnote & @KJRiibe.