Humor Parenting Politics/Community

5 Reasons Why a Toddler Should Run for President

By Katie Wadland

Now, I’m not saying they’d pull us out of debt or bring about world peace. I’m just saying toddlers have some traits that could make for a pretty impressive leader. Here are my top five reasons I think a toddler might just be the right choice for Election 2016.

5) They aren’t afraid to let their freak flags fly. You ever see a grown-up cruising the streets in a superhero costume? Mine would go out wearing a shirt too sizes too small, no pants, sunglasses and a sombrero if I let her. Toddler style varies widely, but if anything, its eccentricity is its consistency. A true leader cannot be afraid to be themselves.

4) They talk to themselves incessantly. And really, isn’t there just something naturally intimidating about a person wandering the world in the midst of a deep conversation that no one understands? This is the kind of leader that would keep people on their toes.

3) They are so focused on the task at hand that they don’t need bathroom breaks. They would rather pee and poop in their pants than take a break from their play. Can you imagine what an effective trait this would be in a world leader? A president ready to crap his pants instead of breaking up a potentially world-changing NATO meeting?

2) They see no color. At this age, toddlers have no prejudice. A person is a person no matter how small, tall, hairy, gay, blue, orange or green. They just don’t care. They’ll kiss their sister or cousin or even the dog. They’ve got love to share and they don’t even care with whom. It’s a beautiful thing, really…once you get over the incesty part

1) And most definitely, the number one reason a toddler should rule the country: They don’t take no for an answer and aren’t afraid to hold the unpopular opinion. Even though the rest of the reasonable world knows that Caillou sucks, try telling that to a toddler. And rarely, if ever, will I truly win a fight with mine. Even if I could win, the time it would take to diffuse the tantrum afterward generally makes it pointless. My toddler could ROCK a filibuster. Just sayin.

Now, I really try to stay out of politics, but looking at this list, I dare say I might just write mine in…

This post was originally published on Eat Sleep Mom Repeat.


About the Author

Katie Wadland is a Massachusetts-based mama raising her girls with her husband out in suburbia. She sometimes wakes up and wonders how the hell she got here. She’s a part-time Physical Therapist, part-time Blogger and full-time Beta Mom Extraordinaire. She has been published at Scary Mommy, Kveller, Mamapedia and BluntMoms. Her Beta Mom Guides and other ramblings can be found at EatSleepMomRepeat, and you can follow her on FacebookInstagram or at Twitter.