Do you ever wonder what it’s like to have kids? Or, if you have some, ever wish you could tell naive mothers and fathers-to-be what it’s really like to be a parent but aren’t sure how to nicely say, “You’re so screwed!”
Let the funny parents on Twitter take the controls on this one and enjoy the ride. Here are 20 non-sugarcoated tweets that perfectly explain what it’s like to white-knuckle your way through parenthood.
I just found spaghetti in our heating ducts if any of you were thinking of having children.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) December 28, 2015
Become a Mom so you, too, can pull sticks out of your purse as though it were a normal thing people do every day.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) August 11, 2017
I just opted to rid the yard of dog poop rather than sit inside and listen to the kids speak Minecraft if you're wondering about parenting.
— It'sReally10Months (@really10months) April 15, 2016
My daughter asked what it was like to be a parent so I had her try to put a pair of socks on my feet for an hour and a half without yelling.
— TheUnspiration (@The_Unspiration) March 11, 2016
Parenting is mostly mumbling to yourself and yelling at an open room of people that aren't listening.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) May 7, 2017
Have you ever been folding laundry and thought, "This pile is too small, and also there is no one to crawl all over me"? Have kids.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) July 17, 2017
Instead of calling me mommy, my kid just shouted "Hey, Lady!" So, yeah, have kids, because it's life giving & provides purpose and identity.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) July 18, 2017
What's it called when you fall in love with your captors, even if they're obnoxious little tyrants?
No, no, not Stockholm Syndrome.
Ah, yes… "parenting"
That's the word.
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) November 29, 2017
Want to continually praise someone for eating food, an action that's necessary to sustain human life? Be a parent.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 9, 2017
Have kids, so that they can treat your entire home like a giant trash can and you get to live your childhood dream of being the garbage man.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 1, 2017
Have kids so that all your lamps can be slightly crooked forever.
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) August 25, 2016
Life with kids is like living inside a microwave where a bean and cheese burrito exploded.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) November 2, 2017
70% of parenting is calling someone "buddy" in an increasingly agitated tone.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) April 12, 2016
Practice being a mother by talking to walls and picking up socks off the floor until you die.
— TheMotherOctopus (@MotherOctopusKJ) October 18, 2017
If you didn't stand in the kitchen and randomly yell the time at your kids this morning-can you even call yourself a parent?
— Joelle Wisler (@jowisler) October 4, 2017
A fun thing about being a parent is that you can ruin somebody else's entire morning just by getting the milk-to-cereal ratio wrong
— Ashnog ⚪️ (@adult_mom) July 15, 2017
If you don't flip the game board over & start singing "All I Do Is Win" after beating your kid at Candyland, are you even a parent?
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 23, 2016
Parenting is basically surprising yourself each day due to how much stuff you can get done while in a perpetual state of exhaustion.
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) February 16, 2016
Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”
— Røb Fee (@robfee) March 3, 2015
Becoming a parent means spending the rest of your life looking like you are in desperate need of a shower, a nap, and a heavy drink.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 29, 2016
What do you think? Are you/were you ready for the parent hood?