Humor SPM/MM Tweets

16 Funny AF Tweets About Partying Like a Grownup

I remember when I was a just a wee spring chicken, ready to paint my face and go terrorize the town with my drunken, poorly-thought-out tomfoolery. Oh, how the pages have turned!

Many of us wasted our youth just counting the days until we’d be grown, free of rules and limits! Nothing to hold us back from living our best carefree lives. Party all night? Oh, hell yes. And all day, too — that’s what’s on the menu when you grow up… right? Right??

It’s no wonder the grownups around me then cackled, much as I do now with my own teenager. The bitch of it is that partying as a grownup looks nothing like it does in the mind of a youngster. It’s less wild fun and more resisting the urge to lecture the younger girls at the bar about wearing proper coats.

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Here are some painfully relatable tweets about the many ways that your concept of partying changes as you get older.

1. Your neuroses will be your “plus one”

2. Your idea of a good time dramatically shifts

3. You can’t handle the sauce like you used to

4. 80% of the invites you get are celebrating folks under 4 feet tall

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5. A practical celebration is still a celebration

6. You wish for things that have REAL value

7. Going with the flow is great, but being informed is even better

8. You’re old enough to recognize party propaganda when you see it

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9. You can appreciate that honesty is the best policy

10. You recognize the importance of keeping your eye on the prize

11. You can drink responsibly, but you also might choose not to

12. The word “party” itself is relative, and definitely correlated with age

13. You can have a “night out” as a parent, but your mileage may vary

14. You rehash the classics

15. Your wingman duties have shifted considerably

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16. You’re old enough to see the value in making love, not war

Long story short, being a grown up is super lit… If by lit, we mean “burnt the fuck out” and ready for a reasonable bedtime and a sensible pair of ergonomically supportive slippers.