Musings on Motherhood: Is This Reality?

Why Mother’s Day is a Big Effing Deal


Anything I want. All weekend long. No way in hell.

These are my responses when people ask what I’m doing for Mother’s Day; whether I’m celebrating Saturday or Sunday and if I think I’m milking it.

Mother’s Day is a big freaking deal in my household. It’s always been this way even before I became a mom. Back then, one day would be dedicated to doing whatever my mom wanted to do for her day and the second day was spent celebrating all the moms in my family at a Mother’s Day lunch.

I’m continuing that tradition, whether my kids like it or not.

I’ve read several articles that argue for doing away with Mother’s Day and I’ve read  blog posts questioning  why moms believe they should be “praised” for doing something they intentionally set out to do,  (Well, some of us planned to be parents and some of us were surprised when the stick turned blue),  and I get it.

We got ourselves into this mess, opted for sleepless nights and chose to be responsible for tiny versions of ourselves so why should we be celebrated?

Simple, because being a mom is a huge fucking deal.

Forget about the c-section scar, the engorged breasts and bags under their eyes. Pay no attention to the milk-stained shirt or unwashed hair.  Disregard that they are the ones who skip work to stay home with a sick child or clock out from an eight-hour job only to start their second shift of serving as referee, chef, chauffeur and teacher once at home.

Moms signed up for all this so there is no need to offer up appreciation or celebrate them, right?


We didn’t know that we were signing up for.

For some of us, becoming a mom took months or years, consisted of invasive procedures, infertility treatments or simply getting off birth control. Being mom to someone was all we could think of and all we wanted.

When it finally happened it shook up our worlds in ways not to be expected. It gave us a new reality; a different version of the life we envisioned for ourselves.

Parenting is all consuming; it takes a hold of your brain, your heart, your soul – everything. Suddenly you are contemplating quitting work to spend every free second with your child to ensure you don’t miss milestones or  you consider working nights so you can attend every freaking field trip. You think twice about splurging on the dress from Nordstrom’s Rack because you know that money could go towards surprising your daughters with the singing Elsa doll they’ve been asking for.

And then there is the balancing act that all mothers do. It’s an incredible practice that requires a constant give and take as they figure out what must be done and what can be skipped. It’s balancing work projects with teacher conferences; play dates with work meetings, and birthday parties with date nights.

Being a mom means lifting any and all burdens from our children’s shoulders to our own as we try to keep them happy.

Moms should be appreciated on a daily basis, but the day-to-day bustle of running errands, making lunches, getting everyone to school on time gets in the way of all that. Sometimes we’re lucky to get a kiss or a hug after a long day of wiping butts and playing princess. Other days we’re thankful to get a thank you after hours of tantrums, meltdowns and backtalk.

Acts of appreciation mean so much to moms who have become used to doing so much for their families as if taking on everything is expected of them.

Being a mom is a huge fucking deal and is a role that should be celebrated for a day or a nice long weekend.

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