Hubs and I have been together for over a decade. Seems like in that time frame we would be much better at this whole “knowing what the other person wants” bit. So I decided to make it easy on him. Here are the top ten ways he either irks me, nags me, or just flat out ticks me off…

1. “You’re so hairy” is not a compliment. Neither is “You’re pretty to me.”

2. Productive clutter is a real thing. Deny it all you want, but I can find anything (except the spare van key) in under a minute.

3. If one of my body parts jiggles, please don’t poke, prod, or attempt to tickle it. I’m trying to deny it actually exists. Plus, if I suck it in too long I may pass out.

4. I am NOT a morning person. For the love of God, don’t wake me up! EVER! (And definitely don’t wake me up with a leaf blower outside our bedroom slider at 7 AM.)

5. My biweekly Target habit is funded with the money I don’t spend on fancy purses, shoes, and manicures. Pretty sure you’re actually coming out ahead here financially.

6. I never want to decide where we are going for dinner. I do, however, reserve the right to veto every suggestion you make.

7. “I can’t promise you much tonight” is not a turn on.

8. It’s called a maxi pad, not a diaper. I have a female issue, not an incontinence issue.

9. Sorting, washing, and folding laundry are essential. Actually putting it away is pointless. Why travel to multiple locations when all your laundry needs can be fulfilled in the heap in the corner of our bedroom?

10. There are two ways we can do things: your way and my way. It’s not your way and the wrong way. The saying is What Would Jesus Do, not What Would Brandon Do.

Stay tuned for 10 More Things My Husband Should Know (Ex: Farting is a biological function, so there is no possible way I can be doing it wrong!)