By Anna Gracia of The Snarky Reviewer

Hey you.

Yeah, you, libtard.

Why do you hate the First Amendment?

Here I am, using my God-given right to free speech in the comments section of this Facebook post by someecards, where I get all my news, and you’re trying to silence me.

Sure, I looked up your personal profile and used the information on it to insult your fat wife, your ugly kids, and your lame-ass job, but that’s like, my right. Free speech. Have you ever heard of it?

There’s this thing called The First Amendment here in America. We have it. We have a bunch of them, actually, but the First one is super important. Not as important as the Second one, but still really up there. It guarantees me free speech. I can say whatever I want.

You coastal elites are so smug, thinking you know more than everyone else with comments like “that’s not how free speech works.” You’re the same dumb people who claim we live in a democracy. Like I would trust advice from anyone who doesn’t know the US is a republic, not a democracy.

Of course I know what the differences are, and the modern meaning of democracy. But my right to free speech also gives me the right not to answer stupid questions from idiots like you.

I can’t believe you reported me to Facebook for abusive language. This is like Nazi Germany! This is McCarthyism! Censorship!

See? This is why your side lost. You want to live in your safe space echo chamber and everything I say is somehow “triggering” you. Well, suck it up, buttercup.

This is America. I have the right to say whatever I want. It’s called free speech.

We have the First Amendment.

So get over it.

*****

About the Author

Anna Gracia is a writer and that person who make jokes in awkward situations. She has been published on Scary Mommy, Mock Mom, Blunt Moms, and more. She blogs about movies and the occasional book at The Snarky Reviewer. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.