Kelsy Barrett of Utah owns Lightweave Photography, a Mormon company specializing in photographing White Jesus as a prop in family portraits. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest Lightweave could have given Jesus a light weave to make him more believable (and be-weavable–sorry, I couldn’t help myself).
Caucasian Jesus, who seems to be donning Teva sandals and some sort of laptop satchel, appeared as an awkward third wheel in the engagement album for a young LDS couple, and naturally, Facebook commenters had a field day.
At the risk of being sent to Mormon hell, I’ve got to share some of the comments with you guys, because they are freaking hilarious.
“A photoshoot to commemorate that time we met the dude who runs the hemp clothing/yerba mate’ place.”
“Perfectly great engagement photo shoot ruined by this homeless guy.”
“I’m confused. Is ‘Kenny Loggins in a Toga’ their dating coach?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s the same guy who put Kimmy Schmidt in the bunker.”
“Sears portrait studio did not offer the “Jesus” option when we had our engagement pictures done 12 years ago. Do we need a redo?”
“Blessed be polygamy.”
“This is one of the most famous singers in Mexico.”
“Looks like the pastor from Deadwood.”
“Jesus wears New Balance.”
“We were interested in being Jedis, and we were wondering how the indoctrination starts.”
“I’d like to tell you about my Lord and savior Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
“Is this the cover for the 20th anniversary of ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’?”
“Please tell us more about filming Scott Pilgrim, Jason Schwartzman! What was Chris Evans like?”
“White people ruin everything.”
“By the power vested in me by the state of Utah, 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war.”
“I volunteer as a tribute.”
“Let’s have this socialist hippie we worship marry us so we can spend the rest of our lives despising everything he said and stands for…Amen.”
Ouch, that last one hurts, y’all.
I don’t claim to know everything about Jesus, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t John Ritter’s doppelgänger. Even Christ himself is probably looking down on this weird album like, “Oh my Me, what the actual hell is going on here?!”
I also stumbled across this gem from the same company:
Um, yeah, if my kids encounter a fella like this in the woods, I’m going to assume he’s a crackhead and advise them to run away.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Ready. Set. Caption!