Quit being so hard on yourselves, moms. Here are the top reasons for mom guilt you need to kick to the curb.
Parenting

Top Reasons for Mom Guilt You Need to Trash Immediately

Quit being so hard on yourselves, moms. Here are the top reasons for mom guilt you need to kick to the curb.

By Jill Ceder of AboutChildcare

Guilt is not a novel concept. It’s been around at least as long as Jewish mothers (ask any kid who took too long to return their mom’s phone call). The WASPs have their guilt too; quieter and with a cashmere sweater tied around the shoulder, but it’s still there. But the moms of Generation Z are the new reigning queens of guilt. A dose of guilt is now being delivered with the placenta.

So, what exactly are we feeling guilty about?

Everything and anything we can possibly think of, especially the things we cannot control. If someone on a mommy blog isn’t going to have the guts to judge us, then we will go right ahead and judge ourselves. We feel the pressure to never mess up and to follow through with everything we claimed we were going to do and be as moms.

“Guilt” in Webster’s Dictionary

  1. the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty; broadly : guilty conduct.

  2. the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously.

Not living up to the impossibly high standards we set for ourselves is not a breach of conduct; it’s actually a survival skill. How would we live up to that? We can’t even figure out 4th grade Common Core math.

Things Not to Feel Guilty About (Because we either cannot control them or we chose them for reason. Let’s stick by our decisions; our children will thank us for it later.)

1          Your milk supply

2         That you gave formula

3         The amount of tummy time you did

4         That you didn’t use cloth diapers

5         What sleep training method you chose, or lack thereof

6         That you went back to work

7         That you chose not to go back to work

8         That you let your kid watch TV sometimes

9         That you aren’t focused on your kid 24/7

10       That you didn’t sign him up for a music class

11       That you leave your kid with a babysitter

12       That you don’t love being a parent all the time

13       That your kid walked late

14       That your kid talks less than some other kid down the street

15       That you can’t attend every sporting event, recital and concert

16       That your kid ended up on a waiting list for some class, school, life event

17       That your kid is an only child

18       That you are raising many children and can’t spread the attention

19       That your kid only eats cheese and flour products

20       That you yell or lose patience from time to time

21       That your kid still uses a pacifier

22       That you haven’t attempted potty training

23       That you have a favorite child

24       That you can’t get your children everything they want

25       That you don’t feel guilty enough

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About Jill Ceder

Jill Ceder is a psychotherapist and writer. She is the About.com ChildCare expert. Her work has appeared in various publications including Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, The Huffington Post, Sammiches & Psych Meds as well as other parenting publications. She can also be found at AboutChildcare, Twitter and Facebook.