Burger King recently offered a very special adult-themed “happy” meal for Valentine’s Day. The meal was only available for the holiday, only for adults 18 years and older, and only after 6 pm. The contents? Two Whoppers, two bags of fries, and two beers. Oh, and one “adult toy.”
I had so many thoughts. And questions.
First: I don’t know about the rest of you ladies out there, but nothing puts me in the mood for sexy time like my hubby taking me out for cheap fast food on Cupid’s birthday.
Wait a minute – this meal includes two beers? There is no way this is being offered in the United States. If the Burger King dildo/whopper run includes a surprise European vacation, I’d totally be DTF.
I’m a little skeptical that this “toy” is going to have enough power. If I’m getting a vibrator from a fast food restaurant, it better come with the motor of an industrial floor polisher. Or a belt sander. (Does Home Depot have any similar Valentine’s Day packages? I’m asking for a friend.)
What if it’s a butt plug? With a Burger King meal? That’s too redundant.
The fine print says it’s only offered at participating locations in Israel. Way to buck those “uptight” Jewish stereotypes! Also: Those are definitely not rosary beads.
I realize that Valentine’s Day will have come (see what I did there?) and gone for another year by the time you read this. Even if you didn’t make it to BK Israel for your V-Day Happy Meal, I hope you still got the Whopper you needed.
Nikki Morris of For a Girl also contributed to this post.