By Kristina Johnson
Los Angeles mom Michelle Miller has been telling the fellow mommies of the 19th Street Play Group that parenting isn’t a competition, but the ladies say she’s the one who needs to get that message through her thick skull.
“Every kid is different, you guys,” Miller said at the most recent get-together. “None of you should feel bad that my little Noah has been walking since 8 months. I mean, yeah, it is AMAZING, but your babies will all get there, too. Eventually.”
[adsanity id=”35664″ align=”aligncenter”/]“Yeah, we know, dumbass,” someone was heard muttering in the background.
Other members of the 1-and-under play group said that while Miller is constantly telling them not to stress about their baby’s milestones, she’s also the only one who seems to be keeping track of each and every child’s development, often contrasting it with her own son’s.
[adsanity id=”35667″ align=”aligncenter”/]“I remember this one time she was like, ‘Oh, Kristen, did your little Kelly just learn to crawl? That’s so great! What is she, 7 months now? So awesome! I remember how excited I was when Noah started crawling. He was 5 months, though. Just a little sooner than Kelly, but who’s counting?’ And then I was like, ‘Um, you, apparently?’”
Miller has also been called out for repeatedly referring to her 8-month-old as a “foodie.” When one mom pulled out non-organic yogurt to feed her baby at a play date last month, Miller allegedly exclaimed that her son “would never touch that stuff” before hastening to add that sometimes she wished he had a “less refined palate.”
[adsanity id=”35665″ align=”aligncenter”/]“Noah won’t eat anything that’s been processed; it’s homemade or nothing for him! It’s so much work! Just this morning I had to get up an hour early to whip up his favorite celery-kale-spinach smoothie. I guess he just loves his greens!”
Sources say the greens that little Noah just loves to eat include his own boogers.
Evelyn Rodriguez, whose daughter Ava learned to wave 4 days after Noah, said that Miller does have her good qualities. “She has a cleaning lady so she’s always willing to host play group, which is awesome. And she has a Keurig with one of those little carousel things for all the different flavor cups. Coffee makes her a little less insufferable, I guess.”
[adsanity id=”35666″ align=”aligncenter”/]Another group member isn’t letting go of her grievances against Miller so easily, however. Lindsay James, whose son Jeffrey is actually a full two days younger than Noah, says she had actually been thinking of dropping out of the group. But now, she’s looking forward to dropping a bombshell at next week’s meet-up.
“So Jeffrey said his first word yesterday! He said mama and then he held out his arms to me so I know he ‘got’ what he was saying. My first reaction was love and pride and tenderness for this beautiful little boy I made; my heart just swelled. And then my second reaction was, ‘Michelle is totally going to shit her pants when she finds out we finally beat Noah at something!’ I cannot wait for play group now.”
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