You probably didn’t know Jean E. Oddi, but once you read her obituary, you’ll wish you had. Written in the first person, plain-spoken and witty, Jean’s kick-ass obituary may be the first to inspire #DeathGoals.

Jean’s obituary starts out with the basics:

September 7, 1925-February 20, 2017. I was born. I lived. I died.

Then she moves on to more practical matters:

I’m leaving behind a hell of a lot of stuff Casey and Melissa will have to get rid of. So, if you’re looking for random crap, you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch with them.

And proving she is every woman:

But this is not the time to talk about what I may or may not have bought from the JC Penney Outlet or TJ Maxx, this is about me.

Jean pulls no punches when it comes to how she feels about her family:

I was born…the daughter of a wonderful and beautiful woman and an SOB man…I will be missed by my favorite daughter, Casey; my adorable and favorite granddaughter, Melissa Eden…and her conservative husband, Michael and by those two amazing grand babies, Griffin and Nicholas, I am very proud of.

Jean’s tribute to her dearest friend reads like your own BFF’s high school yearbook entry:

To Shirley, hell, what can I say? We saw it all, did it all and had a ball! Thank you for putting up with all my shit. You are my oldest friend and I loved every minute we had together.

Except for the part about having a granddaughter, Jean’s favorite things are exactly the same as my favorite things:

I loved the smell of lavender, drinking hot coffee, teaching my granddaughter dirty songs, telling jokes and stories from the bad old days…

Jean mentions all the places she’s traveled, but has one lament:

Oh, dammit, I really wanted to go to Asia.

Her achievements are impressive:

I’m proud to have been the president of my own corporation…and to have received my doctorate in Bitchology, please see my card.

She gives sage advice that I plan on following immediately:

Please remember this: never let the facts get in the way of a good story; the middle finger is sign language; when someone gives, take; when someone takes, scream, and take care of yourself – don’t get old. Oh, and don’t tell anyone what kind of day to have.

In closing:

Don’t cry because I’m gone, instead have a drink and be happy you knew me.

I didn’t know Jean, but I’m going to have a drink tonight in her honor. And maybe plan a trip to Asia.

Cheers, Jean!