MockMom

Mother Runs Essential Oil Diffuser in Living Room, Everyone Is Cured

 

Iris Calhoun, mother of two, gave into the essential oil hype and purchased a diffuser to spread the essential oil love throughout her house. Calhoun admitted to being reluctant towards jumping on the essential oil bandwagon.

“When I first thumbed through my Young Living catalog, I guffawed at the prices. I mean, $20 for 5 mL of lemon oil? I can buy a 20 oz bottle of lemon juice for $1.25 at my local grocery store. It’s basically the same thing. But when my friend kept talking about how calm her kids were after she rubbed patchouli oil on the bottoms of their feet, I’ll admit that I was intrigued.”

In a bit of a desperate attempt to tame her wild children, Calhoun shelled out $150 for an essential oil starter kit containing four 5 mL bottles of essential oil and a small diffuser.

“Honestly, I would’ve been satisfied even if the only benefit of the diffuser was that it masked the smell of my children,” Calhoun reported as she arranged her essential oil bottles in alphabetical order.

But within minutes of running the diffuser, she noticed a change more significant than just a pleasant odor.

“I put a few drops of orange oil in my diffuser, and suddenly my toddler, who was just recently screaming for the blue sippy cup instead of the green one we gave him, calmed down. It was magic. He sniffed at the air, gave us a toothy grin, and then blithely drank out of the green sippy cup. Pure magic.”

Not only did the diffuser cure her toddler of being a toddler, when she used eucalyptus essential oil in it, Calhoun’s husband reported a significant improvement in his kids’ seasonal allergies.

“Honestly, their constant sniffing was starting to make my eyes twitch, but that eucalyptus oil in the diffuser cleared things right up. At first I was a little miffed that she spent so much money on a tiny humidifier when we have four of them sitting unused in our basement. Thank God she bought that little mystery machine and spent hundreds of dollars on the oils, though. I mean, we’ve never had this kind of result with just plain Allegra. That stuff is all synthetic — it will kill you. This oil business is the real deal.”

The Calhouns were so satisfied with their essential oil diffuser, they bought one for every room in their 2,100 square-foot house. There’s even a diffuser next to their cat’s scratching post. Reportedly, the cat hasn’t even noticed.

“Of course it was expensive. We did have to take out a second mortgage on our home, and the kids are now going to plain old public school instead of our local prep school, but the benefits far outweigh the cost! I’m looking forward to seeing what the scent of sandalwood will do for my iron deficiency and flaking fingernails.”

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About the Author

Danielle is a mother to two kids adopted from foster care, a part-time writing coach, and a contributor at Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, and the Huffington Post. You can find more of her writing about parenting, faith, teaching, and living at her blog. Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter (@DMHelzer).