MockMom

Mom ‘Likes’ Own Selfie, Children Continue to Exist

By Jennifer Philp of Mother of Bones

Bethany Harris knew it was the opportunity of a lifetime.

“I mean, all three of my kids were asleep and I looked ‘kind of okay’ that evening,” she commented from her Springfield, MO home. The brave mother decided to take a selfie, though it had been over 19 months since her camera had been used on her own face.

Early reports indicate a controversial 72-hour gap between the time the photo was taken and when it was posted on social media. When asked about this alarming discrepancy, Bethany’s response was firm: “I’m a mom. I had shit to do.”

In an unprecedented act, Bethany decided to click ‘like’ on her own photo.

“I was initially worried about what my girlfriends might think. I usually complain about how I look when I’m with them, and now here I am, ‘liking’ myself. To make matters even more complicated, my children weren’t in the photo with me. This is unusual territory.”

Reactions on social media have been steadfastly positive, though we are monitoring the potentially tense situation closely. The most popular comment: “Babe-raham Lincoln” received 37 likes, including one from Bethany’s own mother. Coming in at a close second is a comment containing only a series of clown emojis with purple heart eyes.

“I was surprised at how good the photo was. I hadn’t had wine in three days, and I’ve been watching my salt intake. My kids both slept six hours straight, so I was unusually refreshed.”

In an alarming twist, at least three other female friends close to Bethany have also ‘liked’ their own selfies, which were also taken without a single child in sight. Sources close to the women claim their children are safe and sound, despite being shockingly absent from the photos.

According to a family friend, Bethany’s behavior is “concerning.” The anonymous source added, “I mean, what’s next, is she going to completely stop posting photos of her kids? If children’s photos aren’t constantly being added to social media, do they even exist?”

Dr. Julie Wagner, a theoretical physicist from Northwestern University, has confirmed that it is, in fact, completely safe to post photos on social media that do not include one’s kin. “There are no known threats to the existence of your child should you choose to post a photo that does not contain their faces, toys, or artwork.”

However, she maintains that further studies are necessary to confirm the safety of ‘liking’ your own photo. “Anything could happen. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk,” she added.

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About the Author

Jennifer is a teacher and mother of two children. She writes at Mother of Bones and can be followed on Twitter, Facebook, and Medium.