MockMom

Moderately Attractive Man Now Willing to Date Moderately Attractive Women

By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama

Stan Rockhead has spent his life chasing the “hottest women” but now says he’s willing to date women who are only as moderately attractive as he is.

“I could have [anyone] I wanted,” said Rockhead, who couldn’t even remember to include all six words in that simple sentence.

As a man in NYC with a job, full head of hair, and four functioning limbs, Rockhead said he was in high demand but kept his standards high. “I met some nice people, but I found that the less attractive chicks just didn’t do it for me.”

Eventually, he realized attractive women who were obsessed with their appearance were surprisingly obsessed with their appearance. “The problem with the hot chicks is that they’re shallow and vapid and I see no hypocrisy in this statement whatsoever.”

Two years ago, Rockhead charitably decided to lower his standards and started dating a woman who is a size 2 and is only “merely beautiful” but arguably still out of his league.

“I mean, she’s only 5’ 2’’ and will never be a runway model, but you know, looks fade anyway.”

*****

About the Author

Joanna McClanahan is an Editor at MockMom. She’s also a Contributor at Sammiches & Psych Meds and has been published on Scary Mommy. You can find more from her on RamblinMama.com, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.