Beauty/Fashion News/Trending

Maybe She’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Mensez Vaglipstick

 

Mensez feminine lipstick

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe she glues her labes closed? The newest menstruation invention, Mensez Feminine Lip-Stick (Get it? Because vagina lips), is lipstick meets an Elmer’s glue stick, and its purpose is to literally glue your vagina shut to stop your flow during menstruation.

To get into even grosser detail, the product, made of amino acids and oils, dissolves when you urinate. Basically, when you pee, your beef curtains separate like floodgates, allowing the bloody contents of your vagina turned weird meat-canteen to empty out into the toilet.

“What jack-wagon came up with this concept?” you might ask. A chiropractor. A male chiropractor by the name of Dr. Dopps.  Who will never have reason to use his own product, ever. See the man for yourself.

Mensez creator Dr. Dopps chiropractor

 

I gotta admit, Dr. Dopps has gots that smoulder that makes the panties drop…in order to re-apply Mensez Feminine Lip-Stick because you just pissed yourself, you’re so goddamned excited about this product. So get in line, ladies, because while you can’t purchase this product online, you’ll soon be able to find your very own Mensez in stores.

If you want to entertain yourself for a while, go peruse the comments on a Mensez share thread where they liken Mensez to having dry mouth in the morning and not being able to part your lips. Which is apparently “kinda fun” and not horrifying in the least.

Mensez facebook post

 

If you’re scant on time, here are some of my favorites:

“Hmm wonder if this works when you’re sick and got the squirts. No more clenching to make it to the bathroom. Lol”

“You’ll never have to ask a friend to borrow a tampon ever again. ‘Hey it’s my time of the month, can I borrow your period glue?’”

And my personal favorite in simple meme form:

excuse me what the fuck

Many people are wondering just how exactly this product works. If the moisture from urine can break the seal, what about moisture from sweat, discharge, and the very thing Mensez is supposed to keep in, period blood?

Maybe Mensez can team up with Lip Smackers and manufacture fun little keychains so we can make like in 5th grade and flaunt our massive collection of Mensez vaglipsticks around the office or the next PTA meeting. Except, trading and sniffing other women’s Mensez sticks isn’t recommended. Or hygenic even.

I tried to suggest Vaglipsmacker keychains to the Mensez Facebook page, but unfortunately, it has been taken down. Methinks their labestick venture may not be going so well.

Would you use Mensez Lip-Stick?