Shia LeBeouf’s most recent movie, Man Down, sold only one ticket in the UK on opening night, which has to be some sort of Guinness Record for big screen flops.

I’ll tell you who’s a “man down,” and that’s Shia. And he’s “down” in the dumps.

The film, in which LeBeouf plays a troubled Marine veteran returning home from Afghanistan in search of his estranged wife and child, grossed a reported $8.70 from an anonymous patron.

I’m just going to hazard a guess and say that patron was a young man wearing dark sunglasses and a baseball cap who calls himself “Nyah LeGruff.” But to be fair, the movie wasn’t called “Men Down,” now, was it? Maybe it was intended for an audience of one.

Man Down scored a meager 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Just to put that in perspective, here is a non-exhaustive list of films that rated higher than Shia’s latest:

• Sharknado
• Batman v Superman
• Suicide Squad
• Showgirls
• Big Trouble in Little China
• Space Jam
• Look Who’s Talking, Too (the horrible sequel)

LeBeouf is known for his various publicity stunts, like the time he gave an awkward “motivational” speech which consisted of yelling “DO IT” at the top of his lungs 100 times, and the time he live-streamed himself locked in a London elevator for 24 hours (which I imagine was just an excuse to pee in a bottle while hotboxing himself in his own farts after eating some of the city’s renowned Indian food).

Perhaps he’s punking us again.

If so, well played, sir. Well played indeed.