By MockMom Contributors

She accessed State Department emails from a private server.

Over 30,000 of those emails were deleted.

We know she had something to do with Benghazi but we’re not exactly sure what.

Her husband was unfaithful.

Her pantsuits are all the same, and they’re awful.

We probably don’t have to tell you who was really behind Watergate.

Hillary cut down the cherry tree and let George take the fall.

She told Eve to eat the fruit and is actually the one responsible for original sin.

She’s responsible for all of those Candy Crush invites.

She took the start menu away in Windows 8.

It’s rumored she totes told Taylor Swift to lie about whatever it was that Kanye told her.

She trained the entire Time Warner Cable customer service department.

It wasn’t the dingo. Hillary ate the baby.

She has yet to say where she was when Mufasa died.

She shot J.R.

She is secretly every member of Nickelback.

We heard she also wrote “MMMBop.”

She paid Big Pharma to hide the cure for cancer.

And also to make antibiotics give women yeast infections.

Hillary has yet to prove she’s not responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs.

She was the voice, and inspiration, for Jar Jar Binks.

Guess who secretly handed Steve Harvey the wrong woman’s name?

She is responsible for El Niño. All of global warming, actually.

She created Scientology.

And developed the early versions of long-wear lipstick.

Let’s just say some know her as “Hillary with the good hair.”

She’s the real reason Brad and Jen got divorced.

Two words: Crystal Pepsi.

She invented the PT Cruiser.

Hillary is also believed to be linked to the creation of Caillou.

(In fact, the missing emails are suspected to have been Caillou related.)

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Special thanks to the following contributors: Rhiannon Giles, Kathleen Gordon, Melissa Janisin, Liv by Surprise, Lola Lolita, Anne Marie, Gina Marie, Melanie Loveday Madamba, Joanna McClanahan, Jennifer Oradat, Joel Ryan, and Jenny Tufford.