MockMom

Child Mistakes Mom for Walking Dead Extra

Child Mistakes Mom for a Walking Dead Extra

By Shya Gibbons of VintageDreamsWithAModernTwist

Still reeling from shock, 5-year-old Jacob Rhee discussed the confusion and disbelief when he found out his mother would not be cast as an extra on the hit television show The Walking Dead.

“I know I am not supposed to watch that show, but one day when Mom left me with the babysitter, Netflix, I found it and I liked it. Some parts are scary, like Judith, the toddler in the show, and how she does not have any access to Netflix, cheese curls, or a white noise machine with soothing sounds.”

Jacob, usually a fan of children’s programming, typed in the letter W hoping to watch the show Word Party, but once W was entered, The Walking Dead was recommended and he clicked on it, intrigued. “I know kids my age that like Elmo and Paw Patrol, but I find myself more into what kind of trouble the grown-ups are going to get into this week on The Walking Dead. One time there was a fight over a jar of apple sauce — apple sauce! It was crazy.”

Jacob was talking with his mother over breakfast one morning and let his secret slip. “Mom, when are you going to be on The Walking Dead?”

Twenty-nine-year-old Sadie Rhee was confused by the question. “What are you talking about? How do you even know what The Walking Dead is? That show is not for children!” She mentally scanned back to how peaceful her days had been and it suddenly all clicked.

With her head in her hands while cursing herself for not paying closer attention to his Netflix usage, she asked, “Why would you think I would be on that show?”

“You dress like them,” Jacob started. Sadie looked down at her husband’s shirt that she had worn for the third day straight. It was ripped and stained and hung off of her.

“Honey, no, I wear Daddy’s clothes around the house because they are more comfortable,” Sadie explained.

“Well, you wear makeup like them.” Sadie turned, catching her reflection in the toaster. She was paler than usual, breaking out from stress, and no-sleep + smeared, left-over mascara = large black circles under her eyes.

“I am just tired!” she said, exasperated at the similarities her son saw between herself and a walker.

“What about your noises and how you walk?” he questioned, pretty sure that his mom was teasing him and was trying to keep it a surprise. “The groans you make when you stand up are just like the walkers’. You stand, groan, then shuffle around, all while moaning.”

“I have a bad back! It hurts!”

“I just don’t believe you,” Jacob said. “Walkers swipe at things they can’t grab and walk into the sides of buildings. Just yesterday I saw you hit your arm off of the door, and you missed the handle for the fridge twice.”

Becoming frustrated with her son and herself, Sadie raised her voice and said, “Jacob Rhee! I am not a walker, nor will I portray one on the show The Walking Dead!”

Silence.

Sadie internally reflected about the lifestyle choices she needed to make after the conversation, which was a rude eye opener.

“Really?” Jacob asked with one last ounce of hope in his voice.

“Really.”

“That is too bad. I told everyone at my elementary school that my mom is going to be on The Walking Dead as a walker and they can come over anytime to see you practice. I told them you even have our house staged as a disaster area with toys, laundry, and food scattered all around. Oh, they are coming tonight, by the way.”

“Being a walker would be easier at this point,” Sadie mumbled to herself.

*****

About the Author

Shya Gibbons is a full-time CEO (also called a stay-at-home-mom) to a precocious, blue-eyed three-year-old, and runs the blog Vintage Dreams With A Modern Twist. She is happily married to a gorgeous man who doubles as her best friend, and who loves her even on her worst days. She was born, raised and still lives in a picturesque small town where she has stacked up hundreds of bylines at the local newspaper. When she is not writing for fun, she likes to cook big dinners and bake. In her free time she likes to binge watch seasons of shows at a time where she gets far too attached to fictional characters. Her work was recently featured in the book I Just Want To Be Perfect. You can find more of her work on Facebook.