At twenty-three years old, I was already the mother of two. Newly separated from my abusive ex-fiancee, naive about life, love, and everything in between, and scared shitless of adulthood, I was a hot mess and desperate for safety and security. That’s when I met Him. He was way out […]
Columns
How My Split Second Instincts Saved Me From My Attacker
He targeted me the moment I sat down. Did I look like easy prey as I was rushing to work? Unaware of him at first, I found a seat and took out my phone to listen to music on the way uptown. As the express five train left the hustle […]
The Other Mother-Confronting An Abusive Parent And Why It Is Your Business
Her words were so cruel I thought I must have heard wrong. I was rushing through Target to get some inexpensive flip-flops to wear around the house and had just begun scanning the shoe aisle when I first heard her voice. Her words, dripping with hate, seemed to fall without […]
The Struggle to Accept That Your Teen Is Not Like You
Our children are in some very ways very like us and in others very different. The tween and teen years may be difficult for parents; in witnessing theirs, our own memories may resurface. We may want to spare our children that awkward stage, when we said and did all the […]
The Surprising Way Parents’ Memories Protect Teens
Looking at small babies, it is easy to think only of the positives. I remember the quiet times: the cozy cuddles, the soft pats, the sweet coos, that unmistakable baby smell. I don’t let my mind go to the shrill screams, the smell of the diaper pail, the sleepless nights. […]
The Apple Tree and the Grave
“Daddy what’s that sound?” my daughter Darcy asks. “Crickets,” I respond in the clipped manner of a father who just wants his child to go to bed. “I don’t like them,” she answers with the certainty that only a six year old can muster. It’s a new and strange sound […]
Enthusiasm for Childhood Favorites Is Not Limited to Old Folks
As our kids enter middle school a seriousness descends on them. Anything associated with small children is “childish” and must be forsaken. As a stay at home parent who was present when friends were over, I noted that this opinion was flexible; it really only came out when peers were […]
Why I Refuse to Make Their Decisions
One of the joys of being a parent is watching your children grow and learn. There are what I call “lightbulb moments,” when you can almost see the connection being made, that they have figured out the hows or whys. The nature of these moments may change, but the joy […]