I’m dead, but my kids still ask me for a snack. It wasn’t enough that they asked before breakfast, during breakfast, after breakfast, six times before lunch, eleven times during lunch, two dozen times before dinner, right after dinner, right before bed, right after bed, and in the middle of […]
Author: Mock Mom
Mother Needs Support Raising Children, Asks Siri for Directions to the Village
Sarah Miller, mother of three, recently inquired about where to get support in raising her children. “I was really just looking for some support without judgment. I was hoping to find people who could understand that I make mistakes and don’t have all the answers all the time. I […]
Re: Your Request to Exchange Your Son’s Eternal Damnation for Your Own
Dear Ms. Smith, We received your inquiry regarding exchanging the eternal damnation of your unbaptized son for your own. We appreciate your willingness to burn in the everlasting fires of Hell for your child; however, after careful consideration and review of your case file, we will unfortunately not be able […]
Local Man Searching For More Crap To Put On Counter
Other considerations for countertop placement included the empty juice container from the fridge and the empty cracker box in the pantry.
Infertile Couple Told to Relax, Finally Able to Conceive
To the casual observer, Lonnie and Laura Barron looked like they had everything: a loving relationship, a beautiful home, lucrative jobs, the freedom and expendable income to go on vacation without having to buy the “family package.” But the thing they wanted most was a child to share their […]
Local Mother Attacked for Taking Hatless Baby Outdoors
A local mother was attacked by a group of senior citizens for taking her 6-month-old daughter to the grocery store without a hat. According to the police report, the victim, Paula (who asked that her last name be withheld) ran out of diapers on Wednesday and drove to her […]
New Mom Can’t Find Word To Describe Emotions on Wheel Of Feelings
Cleveland, Ohio — Since Brie Jennings, 34, gave birth to her daughter six months ago, it has been a daily struggle to find one word to encapsulate her feelings. “Each moment has been filled with elation, then fear, then frustration, followed by overwhelming loneliness, then a kind of dreadful […]
Trendspotting! Dad Bods Hot, Mom Bods Still Gross
From Contouring to Delayed Vaccination Schedules, here’s a look at what’s hot and what’s not this week: IN: Dad bods. Chubby is still chic for dads. Who needs a six-pack on a man when you can have the whole keg? Amirite, ladies? OUT: Mom bods. Yuck. Unless moms show […]