My daughter wakes every day with one purpose: to have fun, also known as destroy everything “mommydaddy” once loved and worked for years to pay for. So, of course, as grand overlord and dictator of this sticky ship known as our home, my purpose — to keep her safe, cared […]
Author: Kimberly Zapata
Dirty Magazines and Motherhood: Why Fake Isn’t for Me
When I was 14 I saw my first porno mag in my father’s armoire. He had passed away two years earlier and I was searching for photos for an album I was making my mother. At the bottom of the drawer, beneath countless 4×6 packs of Kodak film, belts, and Father’s […]
To You, My Daughter, With Love
Dearest daughter: Before you were born I wrote you letters, letters in which I promised to always keep you safe and to shower you with love — a love I could hardly imagine when you were no bigger than a mango. In these letters I confessed my new mom fears; […]
20 Things I Never Imagined I Would Say As A Parent
Let’s be honest: We all said to ourselves that we weren’t going to be “those” parents — the ones with a whiny child at checkout, screaming over a Snickers bar or the type of parent who wields a child leash. We all said we wouldn’t be our own parents — […]
I Still Need You: How My Marriage Survived Mommyhood
It isn’t going to bed alone that feels wrong — I am not above admitting that by the time Game of Thrones ends I am fucking tired. It is waking up alone that bothers me, especially in the middle of the night when I am tangled in our cheap Target […]
How Yogurt Changed My Parenting Perspective
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] As my daughter ebbs closer to two years old, I find myself saying “no” more. Actually, I find myself saying “no” all of the time. (Seriously; it’s sort of sad.) Other key words and phrases are “stop,” “don’t do that,” “not nice,” “no slapping,” “say you’re sorry,” “get down,” […]
4 Pregnancy Myths Debunked
Let’s face it. Most of us don’t know jack shit about pregnancy until we get pregnant. While there are books dedicated to the topic and lovely gems like “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” the only thing I really knew was what mass media and pop culture taught me (i.e. nothing). […]
Are You Suffering from Mom-Life Crisis?
In a post I wrote for Sunshine Spoils Milk, I addressed the proverbial elephant in the room: motherhood did not come easy to me. Despite my best intentions and waiting until I was older to consider conceiving, I didn’t simply slip into my newfound role. I had what I affectionately refer […]