Beauty/Fashion Humor News/Trending SPM/MM

Amazon Is Selling Tin Foil Hats and the Reviews Are Predictably Hilarious

 

Just when I thought I’d seen it all, an advertisement popped up in my browser for The Electro Deflecto Unisex Tin Foil Hat.

Now, before you go and judge my internet history and determine the ad targeted my cookies because I am some sort of crazy conspiracy theorist, I’ll have you know that I neither own a fallout shelter nor do I sport a “The End is Nigh” sandwich board. I just find whacky people to be really funny. You know the folks I’m talking about.

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-They have an extensive knowledge of Area 51, Sasquatch, and the Mayan calendar.

-They speak in whispering tones while directly beneath lightbulb filaments so that the government can’t spy on their conversations.

-They have visited the grassy knoll in Dallas and have opinions about “the second gunman’s role in the JFK assassination.”

-They are huge fans of Nostradamus, Dan Brown, and utility vests.

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-They have names like “Jim Bob Willy Bob Bobberson” (all one name, natch.)

-They like to read the book of Revelations as if it is all allegory for 21st century technology.

-They wear tin foil hats so no one can read their thoughts.

Amazon is selling the perfect product for those wackadoodles, and the reviews are predictably hilarious:

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Exceptional job of blocking the electromagnetic radiation produced by the cell phone tower they just installed by my house. This was my primary motivation for this purchase. After I started wearing my Electro Deflecto I was pleasantly surprised to see a reduction in Government’s ability to control my thoughts. I’m still exposed to the mind control chemicals in the contrails, but the hat blocks all attempts to take advantage of that exposure.

Great hat, although it does get a tad hot in the summer months. The convenient thing about this hat, is that you can add your own ordinary aluminum foil that you keep in your kitchen, to form a larger cone to maximize total privacy of thoughts. Comfortable for nightwear too!

I saw this product on Amazon while I was shopping at school and I knew right away that I needed it. Due to the fact that I am unemployed and in debt, I decided to make my own electro deflectro. Made out of high quality “tin” foil, my own is practically the same!! Just as good! My mind has been so free and is no longer controlled by the government or the fluoride I come in contact with so often. The effect on my life has been so great, I have convinced some of my acquaintances to wear these hats full time also. Seeing this product has changed my life so much and I am so thankful that I came across this. Make sure you have lots of conversations with other people wearing these, too. Those converstions will have a great flow of ideas!! 2 tips:
1) If it falls off, have someone else put it back on you.
2) Make sure there are no holes in it, they allow the mind control and thought reading in.

The power company (note the name ‘power’ as in power over the weaker) installed one of those “smart” meters in my home aginst my better wishlists. Not only do they get readings through the air wavelengths with those harmful RF radio beams – they do other things as well. Not to mention they now know every time I watch the moving picture box or when I use my science oven. I noticed my brain snap’s have been extremely scrabbled since they put this attached to my electric wires for my home! I do really need this to protect my brain’s RFID waves. Most OF ALL I do not want to be another one of the Sheople wandering around munching the grass of NWO in the fences of the trite lateral convention. Electro Deflecto is a product of aluminium foil, courage & bravery molded into a protective helmet.

The product is most likely a joke of some sort. No one would actually buy The Electro Deflecto Tin Foil Hat. And even if they did, they would deny owning it.

Just like they deny the death of Elvis, the moon landing, and the Holocaust.