By Marie Hickman

I waited until 40 to have a child, and I’m sorry-not-sorry: not sorry I have a 14-year-old who constantly amazes me with his brains and humor, and yet sorry I didn’t have him sooner. Mostly because I’d need less wine.

My “joy of a boy” has been a blessing for the past 14 years, but raising him hasn’t always been a joy of a ride. Perhaps you know what I mean. Here are 7 reasons you shouldn’t wait too long to have kids:

1. You can’t afford to have a midlife crisis. Damn it, I want a Porsche. I want to take a European cruise while I can still walk unassisted. I want to linger over Port with my girlfriends after dinner. I really do. The reality is sometimes I can’t do it and other times I can’t bring myself to do it. Sometimes I can’t afford the time and sometimes, between braces, intramurals and karate tournaments, I just plain can’t afford it.

2. You feel compelled to act your age. Your skirt will always be too short thanks to spider veins and shar-pei knees.  You may not be able to rock a bikini like you used to. Truth be told, no matter how young you try to act, no matter how relatable you try to be, your kid won’t notice until the one day she does. The upside? When you’re older, it’s easier to get away with the line, “I’m your parent, not your friend,” if you feel so inclined.

3. You must play the mom-friend game carefully. Some of you ooze ageless charm. A few of you managed to befriend older moms whose younger kids actually like one another (yeah, right!). More likely, you’ll have to interact with younger women you can’t entirely relate to. They will never believe your feigned interest in their birth control dilemmas and student loan debt (although it pays to listen for future reference); but it’s painfully clear no one wants to do Jell-O shots with the eminence grise.

4. If you’re single, it’s hard to find a suitable mate. He might not want another man’s child or a child at all. He might be a child, so to speak, and want a much younger woman. He might be set in his ways or a monster waiting for opportunity. A lot of vintage men who consider you a young chick will tend to be back in the diaper stage – and they’re looking for a nurse. True story.

5. Your energy can’t always keep up. Oh, it worked for the first ten years, until I hit 50. I played tag and hide and seek with the zeal, if not the grace, of a child. Then came the Great Collision of adolescence and menopause, and a slumber party that just gets going at 2 a.m. just doesn’t work with my Ambien.

6. You have more patience. But. I put myself on the back-burner for years to be a good mom. I dug a bottomless well of patience for crafts and homework and studying. Suddenly, all of that interest is no longer wanted. Those scrapbooks I took months to make are stored under the bed. Everything I do is lame and old fashioned. I even remember a dial telephone for God’s sake!

7. You realize you won’t live forever. That is the heart-wrenching thing about choosing to have a child late in life. It’s easy to excuse yourself from chasing your toddler around the park, but you reach a point where you will never be able to excuse yourself from leaving too soon. Too late? Stay healthy, make a good will, and don’t stop laughing.

I know my teenage son’s heart is still open, but his bedroom door is shut. Sometimes I can’t help but think that all that wisdom that’s supposed to come with age is, well, wasted on the young. Someday it will be appreciated, or so I’m told. One day my son will be out of college, and I will be ready to retire. Heck, I may not even remember who he is. But I know I’ll be glad to see him. And I know I’ll be glad I invited him to join me in this world for however long.

Son, I’m sorry-not-sorry.

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About Marie Hickman

Marie Hickman is a journalist turned blogger and single older mom who writes for Behind the Blue and An Unblended Family. Follow her on Twitter at @MrsHickman777.